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yeah, so...
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| so i havent posted anything in like 14 weeks haha soo i though why not? umm im siked to be back at college. i definatly missed everyone! also missed actually having stuff to do haha i know its only the first week of classes but so far im liking everything. sarah, alyssa, katherine, and i go rock climbing everyday which is definalty a good thing. i think im going to try to start going to yoga once a week again. umm i think i might put some pink in my hair this weekend but im not sure yet. i still dont have a roommate which is kinda sad =[[ o well i have met several new cool people so its all good. hmm well thats a nice little brief update of my life at the moment.
i still really really really want to study abroad next year. im not totally sure where i want to go. i dont know what my options are but if i donthave to be fluent in the language im thinking maybe france or maybe even something in africa i dont know yet. alyssa and i are going to look into it this week, she wants to go to austrailia which doesnt sound like a bad idea to mehaha
so this post isnt all that exciting lol im not even really thinking...kinda just writing w.e lol too tired to care. i still cant believe im done with high school. its weird idk, change is definalty good though =] sure i miss friends i spent four years with, there are even a few teachers i wouldnt mind having again but i can already tell college life is so much more than all that. i mean it hasnt even been a year yet and i already have alot of really good friends and i think i have a general idea ofwhat i want to do with my life. all thats missing is a sexy boyfriend i suppose hhaha =P anywayss i guess im gonna brush my teeth and get to bed.
sorry you read that lol
night =] | comments: Leave a comment   |
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iTunes Quiz
Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
1. I gotta tell you that he waited all his life for someone like you to come make the wrong things right.
2. You've got a way with me, somehow you got me to believe in everything that I could be.
3. There was a time when our dreams felt so real, just out of reach but not too far too feel.
4. Back when we started we didnt know how hard it was, living on nothing but what the wind would bring to us.
5. Head under water and you tell me to breath easy for a while.
6. Waldorf. Naptown. Worldwide. What. Everythings gonna be alright now, everythings gonna be alright.
7. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala Man in me will do nearly any task.
8. And I'm good good good to go. I cant get away, get away from all of my mistakes.
9. Just tell me whats the difference thats between being myself and being oh so...
10. Hey there I said it I'm in love with you. Theres an ocean between us just like me, deep and blue.
11. Do you remember when we first met? I sure do. It was sometime in early September.
12. I watch how the moon sits in the sky on a dark night. Shining with the light from the sun but the sun doesnt give the light to the moon assuming that the moon its going to owe it one.
13. You've been asking. I've been drinking. Thinking about my godforesaken life I lead, its a memory, I made it be.
14. From your words, I can tell you lost all reason, the will to carry on. No chance that we will make it, you faked it for so long. But I'm standing here before you, as your barely holding on. And I'm writing just to show you there's strength in who you are.
15. Here's to the day I'm on my way. I'm living inside with the words you say it's killing me how your always bringing me down.
16. I was sitting on the fence, and I thought that I would kiss you. Never thought i wouldnt miss you.
17. I wanna be the minority. I dont need you authority. Down with the moral majority, Cause i wanna be the minority.
18. Moving to the city, i'm gonna eat alot of peaches. Moving to the country, i'm gonna eat me alot of peaches.
19. Mhh hey baby girl i've been watching you all day. Man that thing you got behind you is amazing.
20. This is the song that reminds me of my trucker hat.
21. Come on, come on your just in time to witness my first breakdown.
22. My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine. You make me smile with my heart.
23. Two to one, static to the sound of you and I, undone for the last time.
24. Hey, she want that laffy taffy, that kiss kiss. In her mind she fantasize bout gettin with me.
25. I should warn you, things your feeling arent normal now. Think you need me? It's not easy, let you go somehow.
| | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | gahhh | | Time: | 12:11 am |
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| soo i loveeee college!
but im getting kinda worried about classes haha idk if im doing stuff right. o well i guess ill get it lol im going to france second semester of next year! its almost official. i have to go to a meeting to get the details on thursday. im taking french next semester, over the summer and 1st semester next year, im also learning it now =] im going job hunting tuesday after classes i believe. so by this weekend it should be pretty official =]]] if the tuition i pay here transfers over all i really need are plane tickets and spending money =]] thats best case senario though so im not sure if it will work like that or if i will have to pay full tuition for that semester...we shall see. im soooo exciteddd!! =]]]
i guess im going to bed now...fuck my lack of motivation. its gonna kick me in the ass this week. i think. gahh haha i dunno how much work i should be doing lol i dont feel like im behind but i dont feel like im doing as much as i should...idklol
bonne nuit. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i love college.
its the besttttt.
i never want things to change from right now. =]]
the thing im dreading the most is the end of the semester =[[[[
thats the only downside to living with the international exchange kids....they eventually go back =[[ its gonna suck big time =[[[
gahh im not going to think about it now...it will depress me and i got on to write about how much fun im having haha. never had such a good time in my life. seriously college is the best thing thats ever happened to me. i love everyone i've met for the most part. im actually learning in school. im even learning out of school. just tonight i drank, learned some korean, some french, and how to beatbox. =]] theres nothing better =] and i can be who i want without anyone judging me. i bought some bright red skinny jeans everyone was like thats awesome! whereas at home poeple would be like...dont wear that wtf. i never wanna leave hereee! its perfect! its sooo chill all the time. theres no drama. everyone is cool with everyone one else. and everyones happy with that =]]] and i have decided exactly where i want to study abroad =]] i want to go to eythan and carolines school in france! haha im soooo siked! i have a year and a half to save some mulah and learn as much french as i can. right now its kind of limited to curse words and greetings haha. but im told that i learn pretty quickly and i have plenty of oppurtunities to practice haha. alright well its super effing early so im getting my ass to bed. bonne nuit.
p.s, tonight was soras bday party,,,fucking awesome. =]] | | comments: Leave a comment |
| so long story short catherines been at maryland general hospital since last night because shes pretty sick. they dont really know whats wrong yet and its not likely she'll leave soon. sooo i have to figure out how to get there with no car, haha yea. im insanely bad at directions but after an hour and a half of looking shit up i think i got it. i have to take a bus from towson to a school i've never heard of until today...Maryland Institute of Art...and then i have to walk to the hospital (mapquest told me its really close) i dont have a printer cable sooo i wrote my directions out. im super nervous about the whole thing. ha. her boyfriend has her car and told me he'd pick me up if i got too lost. good fallback plan until both of their phones died. ha. so im mostly writing all this out cause have 20 more minutes to kill and im freaking out lol. oh yea and its supposed to be 90 some degrees out today. i guess wish me luck. haha. on the flipside ill be super proud of myself if i make this happen. =]]
gahh i dont feel good. =[
<3333333 | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| towson is great. i was worried that i wouldnt meet anyone worth hanging out with here and the fact that its in the city [not the biggest fan of cities lol] but people here are great. and everything is so close together is amazing! theres so much to do! i went to the mall with some new people who i may or may not continue to hang out with. idk i didnt really connect with them so well. theyre great people though. and yesterday i went with my buddy zach to see pineapple express. loveddd it! made me wanna smoke haha anywayss im just chillen between classes eating chips and salsa haha i just found out im down to 6 meals until friday so i gotta watch that haha my roommate is amazing! shes a junior but shes so nice =]] in short im in love with towson =]] haha i hope it stays that way...im sure it will =] ok well im headed to the bookstore to grab some things.
peace&&love | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | so i moved in yesterday and i love my room and my amazing roomate =] i've met a few people im trying to meet as many as i can haha busybusybusy ive had orientation all day and two dinners haha one with my new friends from orientation and one with my roomie and her friend =] they are both korean and i think i might try and learn some of it =] i LOVE living in the international building. everyone keeps telling me its not the nicest res hall in terms of the way the rooms and bathrooms are arranged but i love meeting all of the international students =]] except when they start speaking some other language and im like whaa? haha but its great. i just found a family force five show to go to on the 8th of october, im getting my lip pierced next weekend, and im actually excited to start classes =] (at least for now) haha tonight im just chillen unless i can find something else to do haha i was looking for a party but no one i know has found anything tonight haha maybe i should find some potheads instead ;P sike i really would if i knew anyone who did haha but yea im siked to be here =] i feel like im being antisocial by sitting in my dorm but i've been out all day so im just gonna chill. and omg i have fast internet! haha =]] mmk well im gonna see whats up for tonight. peace. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| 1] learn italian!
2] do a backflip!
3] get a tattoo!
4] write a song! [the whole thing] haha
5] volunteer in africa!
6] read a book in braille!
7] learn to count to ten in every language!
8] beat kingdom hearts 2!
9] ride a motorcycle!
10] learn to breakdance!
11] get a pet snake!
12] go onstage at a concert!
13] get my lip pierced! [sept. 6!]
.....for now =] | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| thank you its been another bloody monday
and no one is asking what you want anyway
nein nein nein nein
nein nein nein nein
nein nein nein nein
nein nein nein nein
scream
until you feel it
scream
until you beleive it
scream
when everything hurts you
screamin out loud
scream
until you feel it
scream
until you beleive it
scream
when everything hurts you
screamin out loud
scream
watch out, stay awake, they're lurking
obsess you, they are always working
promising everything you never asked for
one day it'll be too late
and you;ll beg for more
nein nein nein nein
nein nein nein nein
nein nein nein nein
nein nein nein nein
scream
until you feel it
scream
until you beleive it
scream
when everything hurts you
screamin out loud
scream
until you feel it
scream
until you beleive it
scream
when everything hurts you
screamin out loud
back to zero
your time's about to come
let them know
you're not just anyone
your time's about to come
scream
until you feel it
scream
until you beleive it
scream
when everything hurts you
screamin out loud
scream
until you feel it
scream
until you beleive it
scream
when everything hurts you
screamin out loud
shut up!
no
cause you feel it
no
cause you believe it
no
and when it hurts you
scream it out loud
no no no no no no
scream it out loud
scream | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i cannot believe its my last day of high school!
its just now sinking in and i dont even know its really overwhelming. there are alot of good times and people that im going to miss more than i can say. i know next year is the start of a better version of what i have hopefully but its hard to know that i have to elave all this behind. there is sooo much that i have done these past four years that i hope will stay with me. i have made friends that i cant live without. i will keep in contact with as many people as i can but i am so afraid that it will just be a distant conversation every once in a while. i wont be able to have good times with alot of people anymore and it makes me really sad to think about. im really excited for next year but i cant believe hight school went by so fast! i miss it already. i kind of wish i had let all this sink in sooner instead of brushing it away becuase its really weighing on me now. i hope tomorrow will be an amazing, memorable day. i think my sadness outweighs my eagerness right now but i know i have to let go.
<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Peace4Uganda [11:08 PM]: you mean everything. i wouldnt be where i am today if it werent for you. everything we had was so special. god i was so lost before you. even though im still figuring it out i feel like your the one that pointed me in the right direction. you were what i needed more than anything else. and i feel like i've come out a much better person than i would have been if i hadnt know you. i love you. i cant think of anything that expresses it better than those three words. i have meant it everytime i have said it.
bandito4peace [11:10 PM]: thank you
Peace4Uganda [11:10 PM]: even if you didnt feel like i meant it as much as i should of. i did. i will never ever forget what we had. we made so many amazing memories together we had so many good times. god i love you so much. you are everything i need i only wish that i was ready. more than anything thats what i want
i meant every word.
please dont ever doubt that.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| she left her books,
her car, her clothes, and a note
but all she wrote was
"tonight i'm leavin on a train"
she said shes headed west
to make it right for one more night and
oh i dont blame her if she is
but he just thinks its one more sunset
and after all its her fault she hasnt caught on yet
so why'd you have to go?
is there something i could say to make you turn around?
cuase its nights like these i wish i'd said, "don't go"
is there anybody there?
can anybody help?
to get me outta here
cuase your walking down a road that i cant go
she said shes heading west
to make it right and
oh i dont blame her if she is
but he thinks its just one more sunset
and after all its her fault if she hasnt caught on yet
so whyd you have to go?
is there something i could say to make you turn around?
cause its nights like these i wish i'd said, " dont go"
is there anybody there?
can anybody help?
to get me outta here
cause your walking down a road that i cant go
try as i might i just cant handle this
i lost myself inside a drunken kiss
and i, all that i wanted was to walk you home
save a sad song for the sing along
oh my god i just cant handle this
i lost myself inside a drunken kiss
and i, all that i wanted was to walk you home
save a sad song for the sing along
and she thinks she'll be my tourniquet
as the record on the stereo plays
her favorite song for two whole days
and the drag stretched out for miles and miles
and what she'd give for one more smile
and how she hoped he missed her
cause, God, she missed how he would kiss her
so whyd you have to go?
is there something i could say to make you turn around?
cause its nights like these i wish i'd said, " dont go"
is there anybody there?
can anybody help?
to get me outta here
cause your walking down a road that i cant go
so whyd you have to go?
is there something i could say to make you turn around?
cause its nights like these i wish i'd said, " dont go"
is there anybody there?
can anybody help?
to get me outta here
cause your walking down a road that i cant go
so why'd you have to go?
is there something i could say to make you turn around?
cause nights like these i wish i'd said "don't go"
is there anybody there?
can anybody help to get me out of here?
cause you're walking down a road that I can't go
yeah, you're walking down a road that I can't go
yeah, you're walking down a road that I can't
| | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| im not tired =]
take to steps to the left
now take two steps to the right
now bring it back, bring it back
yea i made ya'll walk it out
=]
damn im in a good mood haha
weird part is i have absolutly no reason in particular to be haha
i dont wanna go to sleep and waste it! haha
i guess i should though
lots to do!
im hungry.
catherine left me.
=[
bedtime. or scary book time =]
nightynight. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i dont really know where to start so i guess i just will. i guess this is sort of in response to matthews post but also somethings i have been thinking about alot lately. i think that taking time away from relationships has really allowed me to step back and see my life from an outsiders perspective. i think that has been really helpful. i can now see that maybe i have been trying to make things more complicated then they are. doubt has taken me over. i think in order to overcome it i need to make a desicion and back it up and stick to it instead of going back and forth. the few issues i have decided to deal with using this approach are becoming clear to me. i understand that i need to be confident with the choices i make.
i dont think much of my definition of love. being 18 years old with not much experiance on the subject. but i do know that as you get older and have new experiances they shape the way you see things. as of right now, under what i think love might be, i am completely head over heals for him. but like i said, how can i be sure this is love? thats the one answer i really wish i had. a few years from now i dont want to be looking back and think about how silly i was for thinking i knew what love was all about. all i have to go on is what i know right now though so im doing the best i can with what i know. not dating right now i one of the choices i have made that has been really good for me so far. i have a clearer sense of what love might be and that maybe i took some things for granted that i shouldnt have, i've relyed too heavily on other peoples opinions. as strongly as i feel i love matthew i know that staying single for the rest of the school year is something i really need to do for myself. i have to convince my self of that multiple times every day but it is one of those desicions i have made and must stand by. at least for now. i need that freedom right now. well i dont know if freedom is the right word...i guess its a different kind of freedom then i would have if i were with him. i dont know thats kind of hard to explain.
throughout my life i have tried to live by my own standards without letting other people infleunce me so much that i have suppressed what i really want. i see now that as much as i tried to do that other peoples opinions still played a bigger role in my life then i wanted. even now when i make a decision i think, "oh, what will she think about this?" or "how will he think of me if i do that?" i understand that other peoples feelings and thoughts need to be taken into account on some issues but i have let them rule some areas of my life. i cant please everyone. i can do my best but i cant put aside my intrests for someone else. i need to be my own person.
wow this turned out to be pretty long ha. i just realized thoguh that i dont think i used the phrase "i dont know" in this entire post. well maybe i did i didnt look through it. but not in the lost, confused way i normally use it. if you really think about something i think you'll eventually come through with some kind of answer. i hope i said everything that needed to be said. ok well now that i've got all of that out im going to go do my villa juilie app like i promised =]]
i love you. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| oh i got alot to say
was thinking all my time away
i miss you and things werent the same
cuase everything inside
it never turns out right
and when i see you cry
it makes me wanna die
im sorry im bad
im sorry im blue
imsorry bout all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back
i love all your cares
i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just
wanted to say
im sorry
this time i think im to blame
its harder to ge through the days
you get older and blame turns to shame
cuase everything inside
it never comes out right
and when i see you cry it makes me wanna die
im sorry im bad
im sorry im blue
im sorry bout all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back
i love all your cares
i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say
im sorry
every single day
i think about how we came all this way
the sleepless nights
and the tears you cried
its never too late to make it right
o yeah
sorry
im sorry im bad
im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back
i love all your cares
i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say
im sorry
im sorry baby
im sorry baby
im sorry
| | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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yeah, so...
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